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How to Win Friends & influence People
Fundamental techniques in handling People
- criticizing does not make lasting change, but incurs resentment.
- instead of condemning, try to understand
Principle 1: Don't criticize, condemn, or complain.
- criticism kills, use appreciation & encouragement
- "The Power of appreciation"
Principle 2: give honest & sincere appreciation
businessTalk about what the other Person wants & Show them how to get it.
To Persuade, First arouse in the other Person an eager want.
★ Secret to success: see things from other Person's Point of view.
Principle 3: "First, arouse in the other Person an eager want.
He who can do this has the whole world with him.
He who cannot walks a lonely way"
6 ways to make People like you
★ - You can make more Friends in 2 months by becoming genuinely interested in other People than You can in 2 years by trying to get others interested in You.
- "it is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who suffers the greatest difficulties in life"
- greet People with animation & enthusiasm to make Friends.
Principle 1: become genuinely interested in other People.
- expression on Your Face is Far more important than your clothes
- ex: dogs are always so glad to see us that they almost Jump out of their skins. So, naturally, we are glad to see them.
- A real, heartwarming smile that comes from within, not an insincere grin.
- added 9/14/26The first "meeting You" probably should be "meeting them".You must have a good time meeting You if You expect them to have a good time meeting You.
Principle 2: Smile
The average Person is more interested in his own name than in all other names Put together.
- remember names & make People Feel important.
Principle 3: Remember that a Person's name is to that Person the sweetest & most important sound in any language.
- Hire good listeners.
- Thank someone For complaining to You, break their Pattern.
- many People Fail to make a Favorable impression because they don't listen attentively.
- don't be so concerned with what you are going to say next that you don't keep your ears open.
- everyone wants a Friendly, sympathetic listener to unburden themselves
- Enloe"His eyes were mild & genial", not Piercing the soul.
"His voice was low & kind."
★ - To be interesting, be interested.
- ask Q's that others will enjoy answering.
- encourage People to talk about themselves & their accomplishments.
★ - A Person's headache means more to that Person than a famine in china that kills 1 million People. Think of that the next time you start a conversation.
Principle 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- The road to a Person's heart is to talk about what he/she treasures most
Principle 5: talk in terms of the other Person's interests.
- Always make the other Person feel important.
- not insincere Flattery, but sincere appreciation.
- use Phrases like "I'm sorry to trouble You..." & "would You be so kind..."
- most People will Feel more important than You. The way to their hearts is to let them realize that You recognize their importance sincerely.
★ - Talk to People about themselves, & they will listen for hours.
Principle 6: Make the other Person Feel important, & do it sincerely.
Part 3
How to win People to Your way of thinking
- Why Prove to a man he is wrong? is it going to make him like You? No
- to get the best of an argument, avoid it.
Principle 1: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
Principle 2: Show respect for the other Person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
Principle 3: If You are wrong, admit it quickly & emphatically.
Principle 4: Begin in a Friendly way
Principle 5: Get the other Person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
Principle 6: Let the other Person do a great deal of the talking.
Part 4: Be A Leader
Principle 1: Begin with Praise and honest appreciation.
Principle 2: call attention to People's mistakes indirectly
Principle 3: Talk about Your own mistakes before criticizing the other Person.
Principle 4: Ask questions instead of giving orders.
Principle 5: Let the other Person save Face
Principle 6: Praise the slightest improvement & Praise every improvement. Be hearty in Your approbation & lavish in Your Praise.
Principle 7: Give the other Person a fine reputation to live up to.
Principle 8: use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
Principle 9: make the other Person happy about doing the thing You suggest.
