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☺Joy on Demand
Intro- Happiness is highly trainable. I can train my mind like I can my body. I can do biceps curls for my mind.
- Raise my happiness baseline
- Joy independent of sensual or ego stimulation is attainable
- Joy can be experienced in 1 breath
Independent Joy vs. Dependent Joy
| Independent Joy | Dependent Joy |
|---|---|
| - breathing | - Money |
| - being kind | - buying/consuming stuff |
| - Doing the right thing | - external Factors |
| - being generous |
- Joy is an infinite resource at our disposal & it's not elusive if we know where and how to look.
- Happiness - optimal state of being
- Joy - an emotion
- Joy is the building block to happiness
- Joy leads to happiness, which leads to success.
- ability to access Joy on demand leads to happy life
- success does not lead to happiness
- wealth is a Personality multiplier either way, kind or unkind
- Also an experience multiplier, happy or miserable.
- Happiness must come before success.
- Joy & meditation are a nice Pair that forms a virtuos cycle.
Meditation is training of the mind. Joy becomes highly accessible in a trained mind.
- Joy is widely understood, so it's widely accessible.
Joy Becomes You. (benefits of Mind training)Mind training outcomes: calmness, clarity, resilience, creativity, self-confidence
- drop Pebbles (creativity) in a calm lake (the mind) to see ripples (to Percieve creativity clearly).
| Confidence | Cockiness |
|---|---|
| - Authentic | - inauthentic |
| - Stable | - fueled by conceit |
| - independent of success/failure | - Fragile, can crash down |
| - see things as they are | A need to show the world how wonderful I supposedly am. |
| - beautiful | insecure inside |
- 3 Sources of confidence: arising from knowing, arising from equanimity, arising from resilience
Joy → Alertness + calmness = creativity
- Practice mindfulness of body & emotions to develop Strong self-awareness → self-confidence from knowing self
- I can learn anything
| Knowing | Equanimity | Resilience |
|---|---|---|
| - Knowing my stuff | - ability to calm mind on demand | - ability to recover |
| - Knowing myself | - ability to hold my ego lightly | - willing to bear witness to own Pain & failure (courage) |
| - Knowing I can know |
confidence arise from all these ↑Knowing · Equanimity · Resilience
★ charisma: ★ most imp thing is now. most imp Person is the one [struck out: ] I'm interacting withPresence, ★ self-conf. serve the Person I'm interacting withPower, & ★ Tell myself I'm glad to see them as I greetwarmth
★ (or anything)Starting & sticking with exercise: Make it Joyful. Ease into a regimen, skillfully, gradually ramp up.
Make it fun
- Take mindful breaths to supplement meditation
- Just 1 Slow, deep breath activates the vagus nerve, which activates Parasympathetic nervous system (67).
- use gentleness of attitude & intensity of attention in breath
- Everytime I have to wait, take a mindful breath
- Habit = cue + routine + reward
- When bored (cue), meditate (routine), notice that I Feel better (reward)
- sustainable Joys: Joy of ease, & Joy of momentary relief from affliction
From one Breath to one GoogolSettling the mind:
Anchoring - bringing gentle attention to a chosen object.
Resting - Relax. Cease work
Being - in Present moment
★ Settle the mind for at least a few mins a day
- let mind settle on own terms. let thoughts come & go.
- balance mental relaxation, mental energy, & equanimous Watching.
- The key is watching myself. Too much energy, relax. Too much relaxation, give energy.
★ - Establish relaxation First
Recap
- it's easy & even 1 breath is beneficial
- Mind settles itself
- Be at ease and Just enjoy
What, Me Happy? (inclining the mind towards Joy)- Incline mind towards Joy
- Familiarize mind with Joy
- Simply notice the thin slices of Joy in things I do.
- The more I notice them, the more they appear.
like looking for blue cars on the road.
Habit: cue → routine → reward
Joyful experience → Noticing Joy → aware of Joy, basking in it
- Practice: whenever there is an experience of Joy, Just notice it.
- Next: Pay intense attention to Joy.
- our facial expressions reflect our emotional states. Recall Tony Robbins' Physiology
3 breaths for Joy on Demand: 1) gentle but intense attention to breath, 2) calm body, 3) bring up Joy (smile!)
- inf. Practice: attend to Joy of blamelessness when You do the right thing
- inf. Practice: attend to Joy of Pleasant daily experiences, ex: first bite, Shower water touching skin, holding hands, someone's Presence, a nice day, ability to walk, senses.
★ - Don't ignore Joyful moments.
Bask in Joyful moments → gratefulness → happiness.
- 3 things I'm grateful for (write)
- use "doublers" - recall, vividly, one Positive experience from the day. Brain doesn't know difference between real & imagined, so I double the experience.
- Fully attend to every Joyful experience
- The more I incline my mind towards Joy in real life, the more Joyful & Productive my meditations will be.
- habituation (taking things for granted) = bad
- overcome habituation: 1) deploy attention, attend to Joy.
- Be grateful 3). Strong awareness of mortality. Eventually I, & everyone I love, will die. It really Puts things into Perspective, can lead to greater appreciation & happiness, & makes it hard to stay angry at someone. Think: "If the Person died tomorrow, how would I Feel?"
★ inf. Practice: At least once a day, remind myself that eventually I and everyone I love will die.
Do it upon waking or anytime.
- At this moment right here right now, I am not in Pain
- Since the absence of Phenomena doesn't Stimulate anything, all we can do is bring awareness to the absence
- inf. Practice: Notice absence of Physical & emotional Pain throughout day & bring attention to the Joy that arises from it
- Just note when thoughts are gone. Even breaths
see things as they are. see impermanence. self is Process, not object
- Don't expect Perfection. Think of injured athlete example
★ - SMILE!!!
★ - Just Note Gone
★ - notice Joy in little things
★ - develop reflexive smile
Uplift the Mind in Seconds (Joy of Heart Practices)Joy of loving kindness - All I have to do is take 10 seconds to randomly wish for someone else to be happy.
- inf. Practice: randomly wish for 2 People to be happy throughout the day
- Uplift mind with Altruistic Joy before meditating
- When Something is done out of altruistic intent by me or anyone, notice it, makes me happy.
- Loving kindness is not clinginess nor conditional love.
- Compassion is not despair nor Pity.
- Altruistic Joy is not self-interested nor unwholesome.
- Equanimity is not disengagement nor apathy
★ - Page 175 for Physiological connections to sublime States.
Happiness is full of crap (working with emotional Pain)- 3 Steps to deal w/ emotional Pain: Attentional step, cognitive step, affective Step, cognitive step.
Step 1: Calm the mind. Bring mindful attention to breath.
★ - No matter how bad the Pain/situation is, always calm the mind FIRST.
affective step- I can experience Joy in the midst of Pain.
- Painful emotions are Just unpleasant sensations in the body.
- aversion is the Proximate cause of suffering.
- (Anger master)1st antidote to aversion: loving kindness
- 2nd antidote to aversion: Equanimity. These thoughts are not me, These emotions are not me.
- 6 ways to reappraise every situation: Pg 202
- Love Yourself enough to allow the space & time to heal.
- Art of suffering is love.
The Great Mind is better than sex (An exploration beyond worldly measures)- Meditation is letting go.
- The ultimate reason to Practice & master meditation is to reduce or even eliminate the suffering in this world.
- start by cultivating inner Peace, inner Joy, & compassion.
